Fear and Doubt=Motivation
April 14, 2013 by Angela
Have not blogged since my Occupy Department of Veterans Affairs participation. That trip to DC that was well worth my time. Since that time Debs and I have Gone Back to New York to get married at the same quaint little bed & breakfast Debs and I stayed at when I was getting the boat and crew ready to row across the Atlantic on Big Blue. For those new to my adventurous life, Big Blue was the first ocean rowing catamaran and was built on Shelter Island.
I took delivery of the ocean rowing boat I will be rowing to Hawaii and have been working to prepare the boat and myself for my solo row to Hawaii. Do I have fears about weather I will be able to make such a journey? You Bet! I have fears and doubts every time I set out to row an ocean. I was speaking at an elementary school and one of the questions from a young girl was “Do you get scared?” I immediately responded No and I have regretted saying that ever since because it isn’t true. I certainly don’t want anyone to think I am afraid of anything but I also don’t want people getting the impression that people who accomplish what I accomplish have to be fearless. Fear & doubt is a big part of what motivates me to try and is normal. It helps drive me to succeed and makes me train and prepare to accomplish what most people consider impossible. I fear failure but am not afraid to do extremely difficult things. I simply train hard and prepare. I’ll make a 110% effort for a chance at either succeeding or failing while being scared shitless the entire time. Most people consider what I do crazy. People have a difficult time grasping the concept of the harshness of life at sea for so much time for anyone let alone a paraplegic with rods in her back. I will be 53 when I set off on this one and I feel every bit of those 53.
This being my first solo will make it the most difficult physical and mental challenge since my hospitalization and surgeries. This row is taking place in the USA and not half way across the world so organizations in the USA such as Shared Adventures, The Northwest Regional Paralympic Sport clubs of Sacramento, Santa Cruz, Menlo Park and Monterey, the VA hospital and others are organizing the departure while I train and prepare the boat. I am rowing a solo but I have much more land support than I have ever had in my entire life, I am not alone on this one…many are interested, many will be following online and the departure will be amazing. The arrival in Hawaii may be the most significant celebration in the history of ocean rowing. I want to thank everyone for their support and for liking the dedicated Facebook page- Military & Veteran Tribute Row